This is the book I desperately wanted to tell all my caregiver friends about and so I thought of starting this blog.
Loving Someone Who Has Dementia: How to Find Hope with Coping with Stress and Grief, by Pauling Boss, Jassey-Bass, 2011. Boss focuses on the realities of ambiguous loss, which all caregivers for those with progressive diseases are suffering from, and usually with little or no understanding, except from others in that dreadful tunnel. She discusses the myth of closure (yes!), the need to build yourself a psychological family, and how to begin to appreciate “delicious ambiguity” (your beloved is there and not there, himself and a stranger, you are tired and do not want to see the end of it) and finally provides some Guidelines on Balance. The whole format of the book has caregivers in mind — a short book with short chapters with a story and then some points and a bit of discussion. The chapters can be read in any order or not at all.
I found it very helpful to help me examine the strange lonely echoing grief I live in.