Hitting the Road

In 3 days, we, that is my love and therefore me, will move to a different long term home in the comox valley. It is very scary, and in many ways a great loss.

We have been at CVSV for 4 years and 5 and a half months. A very very long time.

We both have formed deep friendships with staff there and moving is scary and wrenching. Leaving home, leaving this village.

Losing those great caring caregivers could be the biggest mistake, among so many, i have made in this journey with Don. It is certainly painful to say, See you later. In my heart i deeply hope it is, See you later.

And we will see, or don will, i won’t yet due to Covid, the many talented caregivers we once knew and who moved. To a dementia-focussed non-profit home.

I know things go sideways in every care setting, so I am not expecting miracles.

I don’t know what to expect, except i think my live will thrive for awhile yet. And i remember how joyous he was in hospital last year. His spirit is strong.

But my gut and heart says, Now, and the opportunity is here.

I told Don in our last 30 minute meeting that we were going to move on. He seemed to have no comprehension – how could he?

But 15 minutes later he said, Is it time to hit the road, babe?

Who knows what gets slowly processed in these brains devastated by dementia?


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5 responses to “Hitting the Road

  1. Jan Kilgour

    Dear Delores, I do hope you and Don find better care at another facility. My parents were both residents at CVSV, Mum in Special Care with Don and Dad at the other end of the building. Mum died June 2017, 3 days after we celebrated her 89th and Dad’s 90th birthdays. She fell the day after the party and the care aids had her in a Broda chair and were feeding her in a reclining position. When I asked shouldn’t she be sitting up? the dietitian agreed with me and said the food would be sliding into her lungs…for 2 days she coughed and had to have her lungs cleared, then she checked out. Despite her Alzheimer’s, she knew us, except thought Dad was her Dad. She hated it there. Seven months later, Dad had a couple serious falls and was the last patient moved from St. Joe’s to CVH, piped in to Amazing Grace – one of Mum’s favourites. He was moved to Glacierview Lodge and lasted less than 3 months. An improperly inserted catheter caused sepsis and since the nurse kept firmly saying ‘comfort measures only’, we didn’t get him to ER until most of his organs were shutting down. He stared at the ceiling with his mouth open all day and didn’t appear to be very comfortable at all. A chirpy little doc in ER recommended removing all the tubes and ‘sending him back to GVL to die’. Why would you subject him to another ambulance ride? I insisted he stay at CVH and he died a week later. I do hope you and Don find peace and better care at his new place…big hugs


  2. Anonymous

    No mistake my dear. It’s for the best, for you and Don. You will stay close to the friends you have made in this journey. Love to you. TTY Wednesday whe I get back from Lady Rose!


  3. Jan i had a reply to.you and it seems to have been gobbled by internet dragons
    Your story is horrendous, as so many, and we must continue to fit for better care, in memory of those passed, and for ourselves in the future.
    What was your mom’s first name? i surely knew her if she was in 1F.


  4. Jan Kilgour

    I thought it a horrendous story too, Delores, but was at my wits end by that time and could hardly fight for myself. My dear wee Mum was Carole Kilgour at the end of the hall. I continue to admire your fighting spirit – keep going!!! Mum, me and Dad at CVSV: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10154468890726700&set=pb.644606699.-2207520000..&type=3&theater


  5. Jan Kilgour

    here they are in better days https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151072642051700&set=pb.644606699.-2207520000..&type=3&theater – let’s hit the road was one of Mum’s favourite expressions too… oxo