Looking forward to more self-care

As this long journey goes on (and on and on and on) I find myself being forced to spend more time thinking about me and how I am doing. Not so well, some days, for sure. I can feel that I am developing the same “pain in the neck” that I had for two years before my mother died, and now I am facing a long drawn-out similar situation with my love. Yikes. I need to learn how to put the joy back in my days, because I could die with this situation still continuing. Can’t “wait it out” because it could be another decade or even two. Unreal. I have to learn to be joyous in the midst of this, and I need to stop thinking of it as a prison (although it is — one with no hope of parole!)

All this whinging started out as a simple note to my Tuesday group friends about the next tele workshop I hope to listen to: ” Strengthening Your Caregiver Backbone: Assertiveness Skills for Family Caregivers: In this session you will learn some simple yet effective communication tools that will benefit any interactions you have with others. Learn how to be more assertive with the person for whom you are caring, other family members and people in the healthcare system. Assertiveness involves actively expressing yourself, while also listening to and respecting the rights of others. Whenever there are differences, both minor and major, becoming assertive can help to minimize the ongoing confrontations that can rapidly develop due to the stress and demands of caregiving.  This webinar is facilitated by Allison Reeves, Registered Clinical Counsellor and runs from 6:30 – 8:00 PM. We gratefully acknowledge the United Way of Greater Victoria and the Province of British Columbia for partial funding of this event.”

You can register through http://www.careringvoice.com/for-caregivers.php



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7 responses to “Looking forward to more self-care

  1. Ken and Jean Manness

    Delores what day is this happening. I am so sorry about your pain in the neck. I am desperately trying to get things done so cannot phone you yet. There have been lots of issues this week. JM gCV wrote: > WordPress.com > delores663 posted: “As this long journey goes on (and on and on and > on) I find myself being forced to spend more time thinking about me > and how I am doing. Not so well, some days, for sure. I can feel that > I am developing the same “pain in the neck” that I had for two years ” >


  2. Ken and Jean Manness

    I am at a play that night. Will see if they tape it and I can hear it later. Jeanie


  3. Peggy Ash

    Thanys for all the info. you send out Delores and I too am sorry about your neck pain. Sounds like you need to go for a massage but I don’t suppose that is easy to do. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I know that it certainly seems to be a 1 day at a time journey.

    I have still not made any head way with a place for Art to be when or if I go to Mexico on the 8th of Nov. The family avenue was a dead end and now I can’t get any responses from Comox Valley Seniors Village so I am going down there this afternoon to see if I can speak to an acual person rather than being put off on the phone. I will see my Dr. tomorrow and hopefully she can hurry up the assessment process for Art (so many hoops to jump).

    Oh well……! Look forward to our luncheon date on the 17th.

    Take care



  4. Grace Clarke

    Thanks for your thoughts and info dear CG buddy. Yes, I hear you re joy. am having an upside down backwards day myself, was just journaling on what to do with myself and thought I’d check the Email before I shut the computer down so here I am! wanting to take off somewhere to happen! Re medication question: ITwo things: Ask a good Pharmacist what the stats are, the risks, prognosis with or without the drug etc.. Some of them have really done their homework and are up on new drugs etc. There was one out in cumberland that did compounding as well who was really helpful to me at one time but I can’t remember his name, sorry. the other thing: “quality of life” is the catch word these days. my ethics tells me to ask Am I prolonging the death process and playing God or the living process? Is he enjoying life most of the time, some of the time. or is he miserable no matter what he is doing and how different is that from any other “normal” person? How can I help? Would you like to get together for a walk or tea?. Susan Whitehouse is a wonderful Massage therapist . Whole body should do it and tell her your circumstances and stress level if you decide to go. I have just had a little reminder that our source of real joy comes from God alone and is not dependent on anything that is going on around us. in the OT Nehemiah was facing an impossible situation and his statement has become my life verse. “The Joy of the Lord is my strength! Ask Him. He will show you His love and joy in the moment Capture it! Joy to You!, love G


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  6. Delores, this post really reached me..thanks I am now connected and find somehow a hint of sisterhood ..I so need some days


  7. You do so need some company — we all do and this is so very isolating, because the experience is too bizarre, and your closest friend/partner/soulmate/ is….not able to participate with you — in this journey. That is the heart break. The only really consoling company I have found — the ones I laugh with (and strange as it seems, we laugh a lot) — is with my sisters in caregiving. xox d