I found this very helpful — i have been feeling guillty and also tbh being guilted by friends who want me up and about again and even demand it (as in oh good he’s finally dead, let’s move on. Am i being mean — or accurate?)
But it’s like groping for solid ground in shifting sand and i just can’t do it. This post is helping me: https://www.intuitivehealingnyc.com/blog/2022/1/23/how-grief-impacts-our-social-spheres
Not sure if you are allowed (ugh barf) to feel this way 1 and a half years after death, but i do.
Been putting up a good smoke screen and keeping our small non profit watershedsentinel.ca running, and running well, no year of mourning for me! but my heart is running on empty and nourishing memories
CaringCV 
That wisdom in the link you shared really struck home. To this day I have gratitude for the healing, therapeutic support that was given to me by the CV Hospice Society. A lot of my experience then was reflected in those words.
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And yes, Delores, it is OK! to have your feelings even 1 1/2 years later. It’s beautiful that you have been and continue to share your personal truth and feelings!
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Thank you Judy
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