Can’t do it

So for anyone who reads this blog and made a note in their calendar, there will NOT be a memorial zoom for my love on April 16. I can’t do it. A friend asked, when i expressed anguish, “Who are you doing this for?” and i blurted without thinking, “Not me!”

And so, having dedicated a decade (well add 5 or 10 years) to loving and caring as my sweetheart’s dementia got worse, i can see no reason to anguish over a memorial done for other people, mostly absent people.

Others who were on this dreadful journey with us — maybe a small dinner of memories together on the 16th or whenever works? … contact me – you know who you are. Those who are far away, may you be still and peaceful.

We all pass to the light, and his passing was as good as those around him could make it – gislakasla to Nola and Dennis and James, and Kelly, and also Doug and Terry who helped so much afterwards.

Nope. Reclaiming what very little of my life remains starts now. Of course if others want to organise, i will attend (even paid zoom for a large attendance already) but Nope. I’ve done more than my share of caring and crying and being torn into bits. I am exhausted. Your turn if it matters. Send me an invit!

I will be putting up a memorial web page attached to this blog, where you can post comments and memories and photos. Hope to have that up very soon and hope to read and see and cherish your thoughts there.

In the meanwhile, be peaceful and loving. The world of humans is full of turmoil, but our dead are thankfully at peace.


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4 responses to “Can’t do it

  1. Susan Yates

    I’m with you Delores, and especially having to engage in a zoom event for your best beloved – uh-uh!

    With kindest regards, Susan



  2. Kathleen

    perfect choice, now is time to honour you


  3. Kathy Smail

    Beautiful Delores! Xoxo


  4. Clara

    Good for you Dee. You need to care for you now. And you know, I think Don would approve of you looking out for yourself, after having spent so long looking after him.