I’ve been ruminating around, thinking that i owe it to family and friends to have our zoom memorial. (April 16th, the rest tbd.)
I had ordered seeds, bought starting soil, just didn’t have the energy or urge to get them going.
Then old colleagues phoned and got me engaged in organizing a toxics session – the work i gave up when Don needed more care.
The grief is there but more like a burden or a package i can choose to unwrap or not. Depending.
Discovered Twitter a week ago in time for a bird’s eye view of the insurrection, which was wonderful. (the view not the frightening insurgency.) The rage and hate in our land is way outside my comfort zone but clearly a failure of democracy. For me though i was suddenly engaged.
Just in time for another stupid war all the while the planet becomes unfriendly to mammal life.
Tonight i suddenly got up, got the grow lights ready, and then put Steve Earle on, (the one Sue MacVittie gave Don years ago) – the first time i’ve been able to bear listening to our music.
Danced like a mad woman to his twangy “I grew up in a military town… waiting for sky to fall” and then collapsed, thinking, whoo What just happened?