Does he know you?

People ask.

So hard to tell. It seems names are no longer meaningful – which makes sense since names are basically conceptual (which is why keeping a culture’s language matters so much – the words/names express the way those people conceive reality, a priceless piece of human existence.)

Anyway,  if your grasp on words in general is pretty well non-existent, why would names mean anything? I think concepts are part of the frontal cortex job, and that is, in my love’s sad case, pretty  well… hooped.

Nonetheless there is a happy smile in his eyes as we meet and walk or dance. Sometimes it takes awhile. I walk up to him and he looks, asks “Who are you?” I tell my name but it sparks no recognition except perhaps a fleeting puzzlement.

But as i hold his hand and we walk and “talk,” slowly he relaxes and that happiness shows up. Touch tells him we belong together. That probing kiss follows, and reassures him. He nods and usually says how happy he is.

Today being a good day, we went to the weekly party up in the elevator to the second floor. “Whoa!” he said, “Where are we?”but relaxed when it seemed i knew and it was okay. (If you have lost almost all comprehension, everything, from a loud laugh to a strange colour, is potentially danger.)

He even kissed my hand as we danced, he was so happy, although he had no idea the singer was joking about it. Way too much to even bring into comprehension. The music, the beat, the dance, that’s more than enough to deal with, although he also clearly sang many words to those old pop songs.

Yes he usually knows me, not my name, and wrenchingly, he even usually stammers out eternal love to me. His proud male gift to his female. And he is proud.

He loves to feel my hand and arm, although always fairly concerned about what those things are below at – and being! – my feet. Their connection to me is another lost concept, i guess. Perhaps body and person are disconnected?

Then seated for awhile, he asks, clear as day, “Where’s mum?” and accepts my answer that she is in Denbigh, near where he grew up.

Does he know me?

Yes, as a ghost walker knows his people and binds them to his story, he knows me. Bound by the power of his being, I also know him. We are still together, and it is what it is.