So This is New Years

“Happy New Year, Babe.” And a sweet questing kiss. Every year for 25 years and more. It meant a lot to him and, so,  to me. More than the rest of the festive season.

We did New Year in every kind of way. A fancy party at a pub in Victoria. A cold night in a van, emergency parked due to snow, in an empty school yard in Washington State. Alone in our cabin near Hazelton with the wood fire and the kerosene lamp. Many many years at neighbourhood parties on Cortes island.

But always as midnight rolled around, he was there, grabbing my hand, with a questing kiss, our private troth for the coming time: “Happy New Year, Babe.”

About 4 or maybe 5 years ago, I guess, – he was already ill but still well enough to go out – we were at a small party at Zocallos in Courtenay  and he was more interested in the band than New Years.

I grabbed him anyway and kissed him happy new year. He looked bored at the interruption, completely unimpressed by the champagne, and went back to cheering on the band. New Year was an empty concept to him. Well, it is pretty arbitrary.

And now it is New Year again. He is locked up in a safe ward for dementia not having any idea about time, and i am sitting here, alone and weeping or to be honest, howling.

But I say it for him this year and all the years to come, our troth:

“Happy New Year, Babe.”


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6 responses to “So This is New Years

  1. It is now 2017. Don may not know it, but you and I and others do. Hoping this year will be one of radical change and enlightenment for all of us. Delores, let the tears flow; your friends can carry them back to the ocean for you. We are here for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh how lovely. Thank you


  3. tressbackhouse

    Despite the loneliness and the loss ,there is still a lot of love in the world! it may come in small moments and from people that you hardly know, or from other family, or friends that have been close ! May it comfort you, as it has me for two months short of 10 years now! May you be Happy in the New Year( as well as sad).

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  4. joycerelyea2014

    Dear Delores, I have just found your blog…how well you express the challenges of journeying with your love through this horrible disease. Sharing your journey allows my tears to flow, …so important. Thanks so much, you write so well. I am caregiver for my only sister and partner, both with Alzeihmers. Thanks for summary of resources Jan 2015. Your description of care available at Seniors village is heartening. We are not there as yet. We all need one another. With gratitude and love for your sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh my goodness my heart goes out to you. Your sister and partner! That is too much for even superwoman. Please contact me anytime. I would like to help you. Don’t know how but time has a way of showing us the ways.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. joycerelyea2014

    Thank you Delores. Reading your blog maybe the exact help I need…take care , may today go well…one day at a time.

    Liked by 1 person