What happened Monday Morning

On Saturday I forgot to give my love his lunch time pill. On Sunday he slept all day and was feeling terrible (“I think I could be dying.” “”Oh? Do you feel like you’re dying?” “I don’t know, I’ve never done it before.”)

 So feeling worried that the little anti-psychotic pill was making him worse, I deliberately left out the lunch pill.

 Monday he was somewhat better but speaking in garble, and I realised I had run out of his pill packs and we had to go to the drugstore to get more. I didn’t want to give him just the little pill in case he realised something was strange.

By about 10 o’clock he was in full meltdown mode — drivers’ license, me taking his car and his life away and all. It is really abusive and nothing to be done about it, except get the pill into him and wait. And think evil thoughts about how sick people are allowed to be abusive whereas if he were well I would be long gone.  

I got his pills, but didn’t feel he was stable yet and I should leave him with another person who has never seen him have a real meltdown. By about 2 he was happy again.

 But I missed my pool exercise.

The Sequel

During the evening he got very tired and confused me with his sister, and then cried because he remembered his sister  was dead.

That night was dreadful, complete with hallucinations of people in the room and then later, not knowing where we were. Repeatedly. We even got up and explored the house and he said he remembered the house and furniture, but after we lay down again he was back to the repetitive questioning about where we were.

At 1:45 I had had enough and gave him a Seroquel for a sleeping pill, and took one myself because by then I was so tense I was vibrating.

Silence descended and we slept until 8 AM.



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3 responses to “What happened Monday Morning

  1. I am speechless and understanding every word you write, every experience you have in this and your last post, was so much like my own Mom , except should would insult and drive the dagger in deep…i found the I-CHING and it helped me stay sane in the madness and also gave me the same reading over and over again COMPASSION ….that is what we do when we care for another that is not well, we forgive and we are Compassionate….Big HUG.


  2. Grace Clarke

    Thanks for sharing your story, You’re an amazingly understanding, compassionate “trooper”. Hugs