Maybe it was the sunshine, the spring starting to move, or maybe it was the energetic reminder from all the Chuck Berry music in the last day, or maybe it was just a good day. But today I have been strangely happy all day long.
Thought about politics, faced the liklihood of a new korean war, did chores, went shopping even for sanitary items for don, which usually puts me into grey or brown areas, had a nice visit with a friend and left when i felt moved to do so, all with a smile on my lips.
Don gave me a huge lovely hug, but he was still wrapped in his fear, afraid to step out into the sunshine and we sat and talked… a tear or two crept down my cheeks as it has lately when i see him, but he was as fine as he can be, and i left.
Came home and spent some time investigating the chaos in the strawberry bed. Then i actually deliberately cooked a nice dinner for myself instead of the usual haphazard foraging.
A normal messing around the house happy day. No big deals, no treats. Just a normal happy day. I haven’t had a lot if them for the last…decade. Can barely verbalise the hope that life might have that fine savour for me again, despite the inevitable pain to come.
We all have to die to make room for the young ones and that too can be good.
CaringCV 
finding a new normal day, how wonderful ….next time I’m in the area, I’m coming by to cook you meal too…love ya
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Such a gift a normal day can be. So good you noticed!
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It feels like there is the beginning of the necessary acceptance ! it all takes time , but is progress of a sort . fortunately I believe that you are a person who will eventually be able to ” get on with it ” and not sit around and mope!. There is still some difficult stuff to deal with !!
I admire you, and , and wish you the fortitude that I already see that you have !
It feels like the old saying “been there, done that , got the T shirt!!!”
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You must have been through this too.
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No, I did not go through exactly the same thing .MY husband had heart surgery and was immediately diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. His deterioration was much slower, and a long seventeen years.
The last few were almost an imprisonment for both of us, .interposed with four surgeries. two of them life threatening and the last , a broken hip ,and the care thereof, caused his death . Actually ,I now feel it was a blessed relief for both of us !
I still miss him , 10 years later!
I feel that there are many feelings that you and i have ,or had, in common.
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Yes. And you survived a very hard road. Strong woman.
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